Mostly Thoughtless

Tam Brahm, thank you ma'am

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Thanks for all the hits!!

Recently, after a little more than two years of existence, this blog finally received its 100,000th hit. However, if you were to leave out all the hits that originated from me, the number is probably closer to 50.

Now this got my attention, because one of the greatest obsessions in my life is increasing the traffic to my blog. It’s true. Like most, if not all, bloggers, I’m greatly obsessed with the people visiting this page. What are these people looking for when they come to my site? Are they satisfied with the content? Or should I, as a responsible netizen, maybe provide links to sites offering free celebrity porn? These are just some of the many questions I ask myself whenever I think of my readers.

And that, of course, is the wonderful thing about blogging. A person you don’t even know, from a totally different part of world even, will somehow, through the freakishly complex world of the internet, program a bot to stumble upon your humble blog and post comments about penis enlargement devices. Now isn’t that simply fascinating? Not the penis enlargement devices, but the fact that that person, however much you want to nail him to a table and feed him scorpions, can actually find your teeny-weeny space on the web among those of a million others. So, I decided to devote some time to try and find out what it is that drives people to my blog. And I went about this task using an ardurous and complex method which I’m certain uses a number of modern statistical techniques – I looked at the list of referrers.

And this is what I found: A large number of referrers are links from fellow bloggers, who I’m immensely thankful to and have responded in kind by linking to them from my own blog. Please do visit their web pages, which I’m sure are extremely wonderful and you never know, maybe some of them actually do have links to sites offering free celebrity porn. Apart from blog links, this page gets a lot of visitors in the form of people who type random stuff into internet search engines like Yahoo, msn and the mother of them all, Google. The search strings that have led people here range from the straightforward (“vinod”, “mostly thoughtless”, “mallu girls”) to the strange (“flower kolams”, “rathna stores”, “mallu girls”) to the downright weird (“who got least votes in saregamapa this week”, “punjabi suit awesum”, “sardarji calling reliance” and “mallu girls”).

On the other hand, some of the many searches that bring people here are downright disturbing, like “bear chest of Esha Deol” or “Karan Johar gay love”. Now I realize that it probably isn’t good manners to insult people visiting this page because they’re the sole reason why the counter has reached such heights but there are some cases, when I just can’t resist. Consider the following case, for instance, where some idiot, with great curiosity, has typed into Google the following words: “How to shake at the urinal?”

Now what kind of moron is that guy? What kind of career crisis would motivate a person to type THAT into a search engine? And what is he looking for? Is he actually trying to find out the exact technique to be followed at the urinal? Who the hell does he think cares about what he does there? Maybe he expected to find a site that maybe offered a tutorial of some sort. Step 1: Unzip, Step 2: Get it out, Step 3: … My personal guess is that he went to take a pee, shook in some weird and violent manner and ended up with pee on his face. Or maybe he had actually used one of those penis enlargement devices, in which case I suspect a lot of other people in that unfortunate restroom got sprayed as well.

Anyway, such people aside, I would like to take this opportunity to thank, from the bottom of my heart, everyone who’s ever visited this page. Thank you, and keep visiting!!


P.S: Sorry for the lack of updates. Been really hectic at work the last few weeks. Posts should hopefully get more frequent in the near future.

47 Comments:

Blogger Mukunth said...

super maddi...congrats.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Just Mohit said...

hilarious. would rate among your best ever (based on the little i know)...
will look fwd to more stuff from you.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Vikram H said...

hahaha....a weird guy indeed!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Sheks said...

congrats,dude.

albeit ur frequency of updation has gone down,the content rocks big time.

10:50 PM  
Anonymous squid said...

squid rocks stud!!! :) and why cant i be conceited?
you are most welcome, my hits have no doubt contributed for abt 50 hits besides ur own ;) lol

would appreciate more 'thank you', and needy 'i want visitors' and 'squid rocks' type posts

btw the urinal thing was toooo funny! that person had to be you ... hahhhahaaa .. ok i'll exit this place quietly.

12:28 AM  
Blogger Tar said...

Frustration at its peak, i can see :)
Btw, wot got me here was a search on Google for "Comfortably Dumb".
Now whatever would make me search for this phrase...
But 'tis definitely better than wanting to know "Wattado @ d loo" over the net!!

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Vinod,

Your blog world is something I cannot resist appreciating. It's quality work.

Firstly, Don't undermine it's mode of popularity.

Secondly, you should not attribute celebrity porn or other third rated stuff for a prepostrous hit!

If 100,000 hits is from genuine, quality work, 1000,000 is not far away if you maintain the same spirits and re-kindle your genre of creativity.

Don't take away your blog's naivity, freshness!

Well wisher,
Aparna

6:07 AM  
Anonymous hamsini said...

lmao..brilliant.as always.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Indian Bachelor said...

yes, bcoz of your blog i realized that karan johar was gay! besides i dont really know why ppl are so interested in him anyways!!?!?! i mean his movies seem gay!

and yeah, mallu girls rock! i saw this movie "wheres the party yaar" and finally got to see what mallu chicks are like! though this one was a ABCD.

ten thousand , lakh what hits? My blog has 156 hits!!! its like a parallel blog only for ppl with IQ > 150 :-p

ha ha!

congrats man! i read your name in business world/ today as being the most popular blogger in india! wow! thats an achievement! Areyou on BENCH? he eh ha ha ha

10:53 AM  
Blogger Indian Bachelor said...

"However, if you were to leave out all the hits that originated from me, the number is probably closer to 50."

hello again boss,

just so you know you can set a blocking cookie so that whenever you access your own blog you dont increase the hits!

chow!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Indian Bachelor said...

wow! 3 comments back to back!

i think i am in love! vinod will you marry me?!?!?! he he ha ha ha ha

the point is that you are a total ignoramus! you dont know anything! dont you know there are peeing etiquttes!

check out the "urinal game" to check your urinal etiquette level! Girls this one is only for guys!

http://www.google.co.in/search?q=urinal+game

11:14 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@Mukunth
Thanks man!

@just mohit
Thanks!! hope to post more often in the coming days..

@vikram h
I hope you were referring to the 'shaking' guy and not to me!!! :)

11:46 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@sheks
Thanks man, hope with frequency is not inversely proportional to content quality!!! :)

@squid
Ha! Making an appearance after a long time, I see.. welcome back!! :)

@tar
Lol.. ya anything except that.. And from what i've seen, 'comfortably dumb' would be a fairly common team name for quizzes and dumb-charades!!!

11:48 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@Aparna
Thanks and since you seem to have read quite a bit of my work, you'd no dobt have realized I was just kidding about the hits and stuff..

Thanks a ton!! Keep visiting!! :)

@Hamsini
Thanks!! :)

11:50 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@indian bachelor
Hold on!! No one knows for certain whether Karan Johar's gay.. it's just a very popular assumption!! :)

And what was that about BusinessWorld? You mean the same issue where they published the top ten bloggers in India, with me at 9th?

And boss, I don't want that cookie!! I want more hits!! if there's a cookie that'll add two everytime I log on, send me a link to that!!

And that urinal etiquette is all fine as long as it's only about picking the right one to go for.. Till that point, it's etiquette.. What you do after that will be of interest to very few, like maybe Mr.Johar..

And lastly, I'm NOT on the bench.. quite the opposite in fact, considering I'm slogging my ass off in office on a SUNDAY!!! :(

11:58 AM  
Blogger Gounder Brownie said...

Mallu girls? You've written about mallu girls?? WHERE?

1:14 PM  
Anonymous harsh said...

haha...type vinod in my web search...!!!!
congrats on 100k...u rock dude!!!

1:55 PM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@gounder
There's a post called 'Of Onam and Omanakuttys' written sometime last year. There.

@harsh
Thanks man!! :)

2:03 PM  
Blogger harry said...

ROFL... great post and congrats..

3:49 PM  
Blogger Gounder Brownie said...

You, Fellow! I'm going to fire you from the Fellowship!! I just read your Onam...post. How dare you insult Lalettan?? HOW DARE?????? BAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

You, you, do the Lal Salaam. And I'll let you stay.

Paranjadhu manslaayo???

6:28 PM  
Blogger Ramanujam said...

simply superb!!!
i was trying to hit the 100000th
and declare "naan thaan,naan thaan..."but shit...but anyway congrats to that awesome dude who did it...
guess itz not u ;)

11:18 PM  
Blogger Supremus said...

ROTFLMAO - Goodness!

"“How to shake at the urinal?”" - jeez - u are the man. Karan Johar Gay Love!! Awesome dude - no wonder you are doing so great in blogosphere hehe - u see, any search gets to you haha!!

Great writing!

Suyog

PS: "Mallu Girls" was abs Rofling hahaa!

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Rejoy said...

Good piece of work buddy. Waiting 4 more!!!!

5:59 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@harry
Thanks, dude!!

@Gounder
Oh so sorry, I am, my Gounder.. I love Lal-etan (Hope this does not end up with a "Mohan Lal Gay Love" search leading to my blog)

Anyway, will do Lal Salaam anytime, anything to retain membership in the one and only fellowship of the fellows...

8:34 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@ramanujam
Thanks man, and it wasn't me though certainly not for lack of trying...

@Supremus
hehe.. think you might actually have a point there..

Today, for instance, I can see "men body wash gay joke" and "sehwag's height and weight" having lead people here, aog with "men in tutus" and "anil bajaj new orleans"...

8:36 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@rejoy
Thanks man!!

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey vinod,

I came across your site when someone had posted a link for your review of the movie Kaal, on another blog. I have been hooked since. Your sense of humour is wicked and sometimes literally at that too. You are too good. The next time I come to Chennai, I'm gonna come talk to your parents and arrange for my best friend to marry you. I wouldn't be so selfless if not for the fact that I am already attached.

Keep up the good work and think of the dowry details ok.

gayatri

9:03 AM  
Blogger Nirwa said...

:)

What got me here was a link on Jedi's blog.. :P :P :P

btw, congrats for your 1,00,000th hit! :)

Keep writing...

Nirwa

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stumbled upon ur blog accidentally from some other blog.going thro ur archives slowly.ur vocab is unpretentious,ur wit simplicity shines through and the evil in u hits out of the blue.
but do move on from pee blues
and like last time i repeat -- post oftener

11:09 AM  
Anonymous squid said...

another marriage proposal a? too much stud!!!
but then like all Indian films you must conquer the heart (and not kidney or spleen) of that one father who does not approve of you... err... u can leave his daughter alone.

btw why didnt my google search for 'squid vinod' turn up on ur list of referrals?? how depressing... i guess only the chi chi stuff comes up :p

11:22 AM  
Blogger Gounder Brownie said...

The Fellowship is Appeased.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Manasi Subramaniam said...

I visit your blog because you are such an incredible stud... and I would like you to know that I am responsible for around 75% of those hits as I make it a point to get in here and stare at your pretty face at least once a day.

9:25 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Vindy: Just one question. What makes you think that the "shake" person was a guy? It could have been one incredibly curious gal or one kinky gal wearing a strap on :D
Either way, its a hit. Have fun and post more often! :)
And 9th in the top ten bloggers list? Wow..when was this?

9:29 PM  
Blogger Random thoughts from Chennai to Canada said...

hey Vinod...u surely had me falling off my chair about the peeing techniques...i have been reading all ur previous blogs and this was the best of all...I am still dying of laughter...excellent job Vinod!!!Congrats!!

3:49 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@gayatri
No probs, gayatri.. please do something like that.. parents these days just don't understand a guy ahs needs!!! But ya, horoscopes have to match and all ok? I'm a very orthodox good boy. :)

@Nirwa
Thanks!! Will try!!!

7:06 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@post oftener
Will do, but who is this??? DO I know you??

@squid
The father who does not like me will soon get a phone call at 22:30 and we will have a frank and meaningful talk on the state of our relationship... After that, i'm sure his daughter will have big problems in getting out of the house even once a month... you don't have to thank me when that happens... :)

7:09 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@gounder brownie
The fellow heaves a sigh of relief.

@manasi
Dear Manasi,

You are the 35th to comment.

Thanks for coming here and providing 75% of my hits. After all, if my valentine doesn't do it, who will...

ANd the reason I don't contribute so many hits to your blog is because it does not have your incredibly gorgeous picture on it. So, I spend all my time hitting your orkut profile instead...

7:14 AM  
Blogger Vinod said...

@anti
Interesting observation... my my, that's a very interesting observation...

And this was in an issue a couple of months back.. they just printed the rankings from india.blogstreet.com..

@random
Thanks a ton!! :)

7:16 AM  
Blogger Rohit said...

For what it's worth, your blog comes in at number 9 in the top ten Indian blogs in the latest Pitch magazine. They have sourced this information from blogstreet.

Expect many more hits!!

7:56 AM  
Blogger A.G.Sudarshan said...

Congratulations... or not, if u want to take into account the search phrases that lead to ur blog.. hehe

and it would be stupid not for a fellow tam-engineering-blogger to not refer u... after all there only like a bizillion of us!

5:55 AM  
Anonymous indian said...

You r boring nowdays.ur post r too big to read.also the topic u take is a dry one.
i dunno why others congrats n encourage u.(may be its bcause they are all ur friends)

I tell the truth.. ur post are too big
the content are mostly dry and it looks like u wanna fill the web page with some letters and you type them looonnggg

anyway keep it up for making 10000hits. I think you made alone(may be around 9999 hits from vinod).I saw you clicking the same page from different computers in our college.Do you the same in infy also!!!!

11:11 AM  
Blogger eyefry said...

Um, you don't know me from Lal-ettan.

I got here from Samanth's blog (so you know who to thank). Not that you need another ego-boost, given the Chinese-population of visitors and comments you seem to get, but nevertheless: great posts, good laughs, and, seriously, a refreshing change from the usual blogrot.

p.s. I don't have marriage proposals or penis enlargements to offer, but in the spirit of your entry on hits and links, here's an open and shameless invite to my blog. I promise to entertain.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Kaushik said...

100000 eh?

Look at me, I'm struggling to make 5000.
Congratulations!

Kaushik

3:11 PM  
Anonymous sunshine said...

I first thought I'd link a double meaning post http://sunshinenjoy.blogspot.com/2006/01/ecstasy.html

Then I thought I'd share my reasons for blogging http://sunshinenjoy.blogspot.com/2006/01/aaj-khaane-mein-kya-banaa-hai.html

But I was so surprised to see my blog link amongst the recent visitors. How did you manage it buddy?

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again, you have stunned us all with yet another Vinodifying hit! Its' a true masterpeice! (well, least it's better than the latest issue of Glitz) Amazing bro!

7:59 PM  
Blogger Simi said...

i cant believeanybody can have somany comments!
and if ur wondering where i came from (am sure u r)...hmm.... yes. from a fellow blogger's courtesy of linking u on their page!

dont look at ur stat counter. look at the comments. whoa!

1:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I'm in love...

8:19 PM  

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