2005 : A Crappy New Year
After the catastrophe that was the year 2004, a lot of people were of the opinion that life couldn’t get too much worse. As usual, they were wrong…
Disclaimer: None of the dates in the following article have been verified. They’re just there to hold the piece together. If any of them are correct, let me assure you that it is purely by accident. And while we’re on the subject, I might as well tell you that none of the facts have been verified either.
January
Citizens of the People’s Republic of China file a petition stating that they’re bored of all the animals in the their calendar and want them replaced with some new ones. So, in order to appease them, the Chinese Government declares 2005 to be the ‘Year of Vijaykant’.
The Premier Hockey League (PHL) is launched to sex up the game in India. The league will see teams with horribly stupid names like Sher-E-Punjab and Bangalore Hi-Flyers competing for the top spot. Hockey fans in the country are quite excited by the development. That’s right, all three of them.
Actor Shakti Kapoor and ‘Indian Idol’ host Aman Varma are secretly videotaped asking for sex in return for favours. Aman is heard saying, “If you want to sleep with me, sms SEX, that’s S-E-X to 2525. And in return, I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you… after this last commerical break... Don’t go anywhere... we’ll be right back..”
The founder of a prominent B-school (which we will refer to as ‘IIPM’), who is best described as a guy with thick, black pony-tailed hair and the face of a horse (who we will refer to as ‘Arindam Chaudhuri’), is exposed by an article in JAM magazine. The article states that all the information available in the advertisements of the institution are false. It also states that Arindam is not male as he claims, and may not even be a human being.
February
On ‘Oprah’, Tom Cruise causes quite a stir by jumping up and down on the couch and generally acting like an idiot when asked about his lover Katie Holmes. Industry analysts say that this incident is just another reminder that ‘Oprah’ should never be watched.
Crude Oil prices dip sharply following the economic effects of Tom Cruise’s crazy antics on ‘Oprah’.
Arthur Miller, widely remembered for being the third husband of sexy actress Marilyn Monroe, passes away at the ripe old age of 89. He also wrote plays.
A number of bloggers, lead by Gaurav Sabnis, put up posts against IIPM, which in turn, slaps them with heavy lawsuits through e-mail. Gaurav, an alumnus of IIM-Lucknow and an employee of IBM, is asked to remove the post from his blog failing which IIPM students would burn their IBM laptops in front of the company’s office. “We don’t know how to use them anyway.” says an enraged student when asked.
March
'Star Wars Episode III Chapter VI Paragraph X Line 43: Revenge of the Sith' is released to worldwide success, prompting film-maker George Lucas to promise fans three more lame prequels with crappy actors, silly plots and tacky special effects.
Steven Spielberg’s 'War of the Worlds', another big-budget Hollywood disaster movie is released. In the film, aliens attack the Earth and cause massive destruction until Tom Cruise finally saves the day by jumping up and down on his couch.
Meanwhile, the ‘Bloggers vs. IIPM’ saga continues as inspirational blogger Gaurav Sabnis refuses to give up his freedom of speech. However, not wanting any harm to come to IBM, he quits his job and resolves to fight IIPM on his own till the bitter end. Arindam Chaudhuri neighs loudly in response.
It isn’t a good year for IIM-Lucknow graduates in the country as Manjunath Shanmugam, another alumnus of the institute, now an officer with the Indian Oil Corporation (IOC), is tragically murdered by hired thugs. They apparently mistook him for Gaurav.
April
Abhijeet Sawant edges out Amit Sana to become the first ever Indian Idio… sorry, Idol. When asked for the secret behind his incredible success, he smiles the trademark smile that made him the darling of millions of bone-headed sms voters and sheepishly admits that he had slept with Aman Varma.
The bone-headed sms voters, who are deeply hurt by this revelation, immediately start voting feverishly for runner-up Amit Sana without realizing that the contest was already over.
The Hyderabad Sultans, led by Dilip Tirkey, clinch the top spot in the PHL and win, for their efforts, Rs. 35,000 worth of gift vouchers at Mahavir Optics, which is in the form of individual vouchers of Rs. 100 each where two vouchers cannot be combined.
May
Jennifer Aniston, while appearing on ‘Oprah’ to talk about life after Brad Pitt, suffers serious injuries to her spine and head, as the couch she is sitting on collapses under her.
'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince', the much awaited sixth book of the Harry Potter saga by British writer J. K. Rowling, is released amidst much celebration and curiosity over which of the main characters was going to die. A few hours later, millions of teary eyed fans are left shaking their heads in disbelief. They cannot believe they’d actually wasted good money on the insipid book.
Former Prime Minister P.V. Narasimha Rao finally succumbs to the medical condtion that had been troubling him incessantly for the past 63 years: acute constipation.
Crude Oil prices rise sharply again following the economic effects of P.V.Narasimha Rao’s acute constipation.
In the world of business, the chairman of the UB group, Vijay Mallya, becomes the world’s second biggest liquor baron in terms of wealth. He is the biggest, however, in terms of total body surface area.
June
Ace Sri Lankan spinner Muttiah Muralitharan finds his life-partner in Chennai damsel Mathimalar. However, during the wedding ceremony, because his right arm is naturally crooked, he winds up tying the sacred thali around the neck of his bride’s sister.
It turns out to be a month for celebrity weddings as Charles, Prince of Wales marries Camilla Parker Bowles, his sweetheart of 35 years, so that he can finally cheat on her with someone else.
Queen Elizabeth II, his proud mother, is very pleased with the wedding. “Diana was always too beautiful for our family,” she says, “Now, with Camilla, I finally have a daughter-in-law who’s as ugly as the rest of us.”
Lots of improbable events take place in the world of sport: The English cricket team wins The Ashes, Liverpool F.C wins the Champions League and the women’s singles title at the Wimbledon Tennis Championship is won by a player whose name does not end in ‘ova’.
July
Pope John Paul II dies after a prolonged illness which, according to doctors, was caused by years of wearing an incredibly heavy hat. He was nine million years old.
India becomes the first country to pass a law banning all depictions of smoking in all films present, future and past. After making the edits necessary to comply with the new laws, it is discovered that Rajnikant now has only 7 minutes of screen time in his entire career.
Prominent industrialist Vijaypat Singhania breaks the world record by flying 69,852 ft in a hot-air balloon known commonly as Vijay Mallya.
The elections for the new pope are held and Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is elected the new pontiff. As per tradition, white smoke is released from the Sistine Chapel to signify the event but television viewers in India are unable to witness the spectacle because of the ban on on-screen smoking.
August
At least a thousand people are killed, and severe damage is caused along the U.S. Gulf Coast, as Hurricane Katrina strikes the Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama coastal areas. Within hours, the levees give way and New Orleans is flooded, raising a number of questions in the minds of the American people, such as "What the hell is a levee?"
Crude Oil prices rise sharply following the economic effects of Hurricane Katrina and the breaking of the levees, whatever they are.
Heavy rains cause life to come to a standstill in Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai. An earthquake strikes Kashmir and bomb blasts rock London and New Delhi. As a result, everyone in India is in a state of total depression. So, nothing interesting happens. It is an extremely boring month.
September
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh apologises to the Sikhs for 1984, which was the year when the famous Santa/Banta series of jokes were invented.
The ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson walks free after being cleared of all child abuse charges. However, he is later charged with manslaughter after a few million kids died of fright after looking at his face.
Crude Oil prices dip sharply following the economic effects of Michael Jackson’s acquittal and then rise sharply again following his subsequent arrest.
In yet another landmark legal ruling, the New Delhi High Court reduces girls' legal age for marriage from 18 to 15. Michael Jackson immediately places a request with the prison authorities to be extradited to India.
October
Ex-Australian cricketer Greg Chappell takes over as the new coach of the Indian Cricket Team. In an entirely unrelated news story, Saurav Ganguly is dropped from the Indian Cricket Team.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni hits a blistering unbeaten 183 at Jaipur against Sri Lanka. In the post match press conference, Ravi Shastri asks him the million dollar question, “How much milk do you drink everyday?”
Crude Oil prices rise sharply following the economic effects of Mahendra Dhoni’s incredible milk consumption.
Cricket fans in Kolkata boo and shout abuses at the Indian cricket team when they play against South Africa in the city’s Eden Garden stadium. As a direct consequence, coach Greg Chappell injures his middle finger and Saurav Ganguly is recalled to the national team.
November
Anurag Kashyap, Aliya Deri, Samir Sudhir Patel and Rajiv Tarigopula – four children of Indian origin, claim the top four slots at the 78th Annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. Young Rajiv had been leading until the final, where he was asked to spell his own last name.
Surgeons in France carry out the first human face transplant, marking the first significant achievement by the medical community since the polio vaccine. They say the procedure will be available for the public soon. All the members of the British Royal Family are the first to apply, followed by the Laloo Prasad Yadav family.
Not to be outdone, Scientists in the U.S.A announce that they have created mice with small amounts of human brain cells in an effort to make realistic models of neurological disorders. They have also created a human with small amounts of mouse brain cells, and elected him President.
December
Closer home, in Chennai, actress Khushboo expresses her controversial views about pre-marital sex. Also, party goers in the city got a rude shock when pictures of them kissing were published in a local daily. The conservative majority in the city is incensed and people takes to brooms to vent their anger. “How come we don’t get any?” they scream.
In a move that greatly displeased the male community, Iranian model Negar Khan is deported from India for not possessing all the necessary documents. However, she does not let her fans down, as she goes back to Norway and immediately suffers a wardrobe malfunction.
Crude Oil prices rise sharply, along with a few crucial male anatomical parts, following the economic effects of model Negar Khan’s wardrobe malfunction.
Same-sex marriages are legalized in the United Kingdom and almost immediately, Elton John decides to formalize his relationship with his companion of the last 12 years, Camilla Parker Bowles.
The conservative people of Chennai are not happy with the recent developments. Saurav Ganguly is dropped from the Indian team. Gaurav Sabnis quits his job in disgust.
Disclaimer: None of the dates in the following article have been verified. They’re just there to hold the piece together. If any of them are correct, let me assure you that it is purely by accident. And while we’re on the subject, I might as well tell you that none of the facts have been verified either.
January
Citizens of the People’s Republic of China file a petition stating that they’re bored of all the animals in the their calendar and want them replaced with some new ones. So, in order to appease them, the Chinese Government declares 2005 to be the ‘Year of Vijaykant’.
The Premier Hockey League (PHL) is launched to sex up the game in India. The league will see teams with horribly stupid names like Sher-E-Punjab and Bangalore Hi-Flyers competing for the top spot. Hockey fans in the country are quite excited by the development. That’s right, all three of them.
Actor Shakti Kapoor and ‘Indian Idol’ host Aman Varma are secretly videotaped asking for sex in return for favours. Aman is heard saying, “If you want to sleep with me, sms SEX, that’s S-E-X to 2525. And in return, I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you… after this last commerical break... Don’t go anywhere... we’ll be right back..”
The founder of a prominent B-school (which we will refer to as ‘IIPM’), who is best described as a guy with thick, black pony-tailed hair and the face of a horse (who we will refer to as ‘Arindam Chaudhuri’), is exposed by an article in JAM magazine. The article states that all the information available in the advertisements of the institution are false. It also states that Arindam is not male as he claims, and may not even be a human being.
February
On ‘Oprah’, Tom Cruise causes quite a stir by jumping up and down on the couch and generally acting like an idiot when asked about his lover Katie Holmes. Industry analysts say that this incident is just another reminder that ‘Oprah’ should never be watched.
Crude Oil prices dip sharply following the economic effects of Tom Cruise’s crazy antics on ‘Oprah’.
Arthur Miller, widely remembered for being the third husband of sexy actress Marilyn Monroe, passes away at the ripe old age of 89. He also wrote plays.
A number of bloggers, lead by Gaurav Sabnis, put up posts against IIPM, which in turn, slaps them with heavy lawsuits through e-mail. Gaurav, an alumnus of IIM-Lucknow and an employee of IBM, is asked to remove the post from his blog failing which IIPM students would burn their IBM laptops in front of the company’s office. “We don’t know how to use them anyway.” says an enraged student when asked.
March
'Star Wars Episode III Chapter VI Paragraph X Line 43: Revenge of the Sith' is released to worldwide success, prompting film-maker George Lucas to promise fans three more lame prequels with crappy actors, silly plots and tacky special effects.
Steven Spielberg’s 'War of the Worlds', another big-budget Hollywood disaster movie is released. In the film, aliens attack the Earth and cause massive destruction until Tom Cruise finally saves the day by jumping up and down on his couch.
Meanwhile, the ‘Bloggers vs. IIPM’ saga continues as inspirational blogger Gaurav Sabnis refuses to give up his freedom of speech. However, not wanting any harm to come to IBM, he quits his job and resolves to fight IIPM on his own till the bitter end. Arindam Chaudhuri neighs loudly in response.
It isn’t a good year for IIM-Lucknow graduates in the country as Manjunath Shanmugam, another alumnus of the institute, now an officer with the Indian Oil Corporation (IOC), is tragically murdered by hired thugs. They apparently mistook him for Gaurav.
April
Abhijeet Sawant edges out Amit Sana to become the first ever Indian Idio… sorry, Idol. When asked for the secret behind his incredible success, he smiles the trademark smile that made him the darling of millions of bone-headed sms voters and sheepishly admits that he had slept with Aman Varma.
The bone-headed sms voters, who are deeply hurt by this revelation, immediately start voting feverishly for runner-up Amit Sana without realizing that the contest was already over.
The Hyderabad Sultans, led by Dilip Tirkey, clinch the top spot in the PHL and win, for their efforts, Rs. 35,000 worth of gift vouchers at Mahavir Optics, which is in the form of individual vouchers of Rs. 100 each where two vouchers cannot be combined.
May
Jennifer Aniston, while appearing on ‘Oprah’ to talk about life after Brad Pitt, suffers serious injuries to her spine and head, as the couch she is sitting on collapses under her.
'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince', the much awaited sixth book of the Harry Potter saga by British writer J. K. Rowling, is released amidst much celebration and curiosity over which of the main characters was going to die. A few hours later, millions of teary eyed fans are left shaking their heads in disbelief. They cannot believe they’d actually wasted good money on the insipid book.
Former Prime Minister P.V. Narasimha Rao finally succumbs to the medical condtion that had been troubling him incessantly for the past 63 years: acute constipation.
Crude Oil prices rise sharply again following the economic effects of P.V.Narasimha Rao’s acute constipation.
In the world of business, the chairman of the UB group, Vijay Mallya, becomes the world’s second biggest liquor baron in terms of wealth. He is the biggest, however, in terms of total body surface area.
June
Ace Sri Lankan spinner Muttiah Muralitharan finds his life-partner in Chennai damsel Mathimalar. However, during the wedding ceremony, because his right arm is naturally crooked, he winds up tying the sacred thali around the neck of his bride’s sister.
It turns out to be a month for celebrity weddings as Charles, Prince of Wales marries Camilla Parker Bowles, his sweetheart of 35 years, so that he can finally cheat on her with someone else.
Queen Elizabeth II, his proud mother, is very pleased with the wedding. “Diana was always too beautiful for our family,” she says, “Now, with Camilla, I finally have a daughter-in-law who’s as ugly as the rest of us.”
Lots of improbable events take place in the world of sport: The English cricket team wins The Ashes, Liverpool F.C wins the Champions League and the women’s singles title at the Wimbledon Tennis Championship is won by a player whose name does not end in ‘ova’.
July
Pope John Paul II dies after a prolonged illness which, according to doctors, was caused by years of wearing an incredibly heavy hat. He was nine million years old.
India becomes the first country to pass a law banning all depictions of smoking in all films present, future and past. After making the edits necessary to comply with the new laws, it is discovered that Rajnikant now has only 7 minutes of screen time in his entire career.
Prominent industrialist Vijaypat Singhania breaks the world record by flying 69,852 ft in a hot-air balloon known commonly as Vijay Mallya.
The elections for the new pope are held and Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is elected the new pontiff. As per tradition, white smoke is released from the Sistine Chapel to signify the event but television viewers in India are unable to witness the spectacle because of the ban on on-screen smoking.
August
At least a thousand people are killed, and severe damage is caused along the U.S. Gulf Coast, as Hurricane Katrina strikes the Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama coastal areas. Within hours, the levees give way and New Orleans is flooded, raising a number of questions in the minds of the American people, such as "What the hell is a levee?"
Crude Oil prices rise sharply following the economic effects of Hurricane Katrina and the breaking of the levees, whatever they are.
Heavy rains cause life to come to a standstill in Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai. An earthquake strikes Kashmir and bomb blasts rock London and New Delhi. As a result, everyone in India is in a state of total depression. So, nothing interesting happens. It is an extremely boring month.
September
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh apologises to the Sikhs for 1984, which was the year when the famous Santa/Banta series of jokes were invented.
The ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson walks free after being cleared of all child abuse charges. However, he is later charged with manslaughter after a few million kids died of fright after looking at his face.
Crude Oil prices dip sharply following the economic effects of Michael Jackson’s acquittal and then rise sharply again following his subsequent arrest.
In yet another landmark legal ruling, the New Delhi High Court reduces girls' legal age for marriage from 18 to 15. Michael Jackson immediately places a request with the prison authorities to be extradited to India.
October
Ex-Australian cricketer Greg Chappell takes over as the new coach of the Indian Cricket Team. In an entirely unrelated news story, Saurav Ganguly is dropped from the Indian Cricket Team.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni hits a blistering unbeaten 183 at Jaipur against Sri Lanka. In the post match press conference, Ravi Shastri asks him the million dollar question, “How much milk do you drink everyday?”
Crude Oil prices rise sharply following the economic effects of Mahendra Dhoni’s incredible milk consumption.
Cricket fans in Kolkata boo and shout abuses at the Indian cricket team when they play against South Africa in the city’s Eden Garden stadium. As a direct consequence, coach Greg Chappell injures his middle finger and Saurav Ganguly is recalled to the national team.
November
Anurag Kashyap, Aliya Deri, Samir Sudhir Patel and Rajiv Tarigopula – four children of Indian origin, claim the top four slots at the 78th Annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. Young Rajiv had been leading until the final, where he was asked to spell his own last name.
Surgeons in France carry out the first human face transplant, marking the first significant achievement by the medical community since the polio vaccine. They say the procedure will be available for the public soon. All the members of the British Royal Family are the first to apply, followed by the Laloo Prasad Yadav family.
Not to be outdone, Scientists in the U.S.A announce that they have created mice with small amounts of human brain cells in an effort to make realistic models of neurological disorders. They have also created a human with small amounts of mouse brain cells, and elected him President.
December
Closer home, in Chennai, actress Khushboo expresses her controversial views about pre-marital sex. Also, party goers in the city got a rude shock when pictures of them kissing were published in a local daily. The conservative majority in the city is incensed and people takes to brooms to vent their anger. “How come we don’t get any?” they scream.
In a move that greatly displeased the male community, Iranian model Negar Khan is deported from India for not possessing all the necessary documents. However, she does not let her fans down, as she goes back to Norway and immediately suffers a wardrobe malfunction.
Crude Oil prices rise sharply, along with a few crucial male anatomical parts, following the economic effects of model Negar Khan’s wardrobe malfunction.
Same-sex marriages are legalized in the United Kingdom and almost immediately, Elton John decides to formalize his relationship with his companion of the last 12 years, Camilla Parker Bowles.
The conservative people of Chennai are not happy with the recent developments. Saurav Ganguly is dropped from the Indian team. Gaurav Sabnis quits his job in disgust.
posted by Vinod @ 12:06 AM
140 Comments:
LOLL..and multiply that by any amount, i've had the most rollickin time ever..reading that..man u ROCK!!I'm actually exhausted from laughing so much..thanx for making it a really Happy New Year:)
dude dude dude..u r god when it comes to bloggin....
i luved all do months cant pick a favourite..
happy nw yr hope u continue to blog the same way for the yrs to come
Hilarious. But I'd like to note that Laloo's kids are actually pretty good-looking. I saw them on Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai
LOL !! now this is one GREAT start to my year , reading this one !!! amazing one dude !n a happy 2006 to you !
u have THAT much time at hand?? wow.
'made my new year..
Here's wishing you a very very happy new year..
God bless!
@Jaya, Gulam and Abhinav
Thanks a ton!! Hope it IS a happy new year for all of you!!! :)
@anonymous
Are you serious??? But how can that be, given their parents??? :)
@preetika
Apparently, YEAH!!! And thanks, you have a wonderful year too... :)
I haven't had such a good laugh in ages. Do you perform in public? You could be our desi Jay Leno...
You rock da! Happy New Year :)
there's the good ol' vinod i know!!!! :D niiiice post!
You missed one important event though, the day you entered a prominent womens college in the city wearing a red shirt! I believe it caused waves across the city, hence giving the tsunami a complex! At the very least, it made me laugh a lot last yr :)
have a kick ass yr stud :) lets get you a flashy orange shirt this yr.. what say??
...call it 'the year of orange', the chinese can go hang & hutch is pink now so no issues.
Awesome post dude!
Even more awesome, considering you spent the previous evening, tracking the adventures of an incredibly obesce beast on the empire state building.
Happy New Year as well!
Wonderful, as usual.
Wishing you great new year!
Dude,this was the funniest post of the year..Hilarious man..All jokes apart, 2005 was a HAPPY year and I wish u a great and happy new year 2006,keep blogging..Cheers!!
Hilarious! Best post in a long time. :D
crude oil-constipation-dhoni-mj really really excellent..
LOL as usual,great treat 4 the new year..
BTW this is my blog, visit if u can..
http://ramanujamp.blogspot.com/
Here's someone who agrees with me.that was detail enough to prove 2005 was crappy.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
LOL...Great post dude! Amazing satire....A very happy new year to you!
LOL @ the reasons Y crude oil prices kept rising.
happy new year vindy!!!!!!!!!!
OH MI GOD...absoultely hilarious...i kept laffing loudly every two mins and people around are wondering why...
this is abosultelyy funnnny ...awesome man..
aint no words to describe this stuff u do...keep entertainin us alll...thanks a loooot and have a wonderful year ahead with more posts than last year..:d
take care
that was hilarious..makes me wnt to sign up for iipm :P...and btw vijaykant lives behind my house....im joining his pol party asap now..:) happy new year...
@anonymous
Thanks a ton.. that's really high praise... keep visiting!!! :)
@anil
Thanks man, you too!!! Party hard and hope both of us get where we want to...
@squid
Oh ya stud.. forgot to mention all that... and flashy orange shirt... what are you intercepting my dreams or something???
@sudhir
Thanks man... but rather than focussing on the obese beast, you should have focussed on the incredibly, mouth-wateringly, mind-numbingly beautiful object of his affections like I did... Oh man, was Naomi Watts gorgeous in that movie...
@rk
Thanks, and wish you a wonderful new year as well!!! :)
@peelu
What're you sayin man? This was the first post of this year??? :)
Just kidding, thanks a ton da.. Have a great year, with plenty of flops and maybe a nice girlfriend!!! ;)
@siddhu
Thanks da... hope you're liking India!!! :p
@ramanujam
Thanks!! and keep visiting.. will visit your blog very soon...
@sheks
I don't actually think 2005 was that crappy... On the other hand, it was an excellent year on the personal front.. the post was just for laughs.. In any case, wish you a happy and prosperous 2006.. Have fun dude!!! :)
@vikram h
Thanks man... :)
@sameera
Thanks but it's I who has to thank people like you for actually continuing to visit even I wasn't posting.. that's what makes me wanna post!!! keep visiting... and have a super-great year!!! :)
@deepa
Please peer over your wall and tell captain and I'm his biggest fan and that if he's looking for a new party member, then I'm the one to pick.. Jai Captain!!!
Dude,technically,didnt u post it on the 31st and if u did post it today,then u ve gotta do REALLY well to write a funnier one,hope you do!!!Anyway,thanks for all the wishes,I wish u the same..
And sorry for this:
How will u say Hi to Naomi Watts??
Watts up!!!
Please accept my apology,I hope i m not banned from visiting your blog..
@peelu
Not at all, in fact, this blog welcomes such silly senseless humour because it makes even my shit seem funny in comparison.. so please go ahead... :)
Just kidding da, you know I liked it!!!
it couldn't get better than this..absolute perfection!i salute thee.u must be beaming with all the compliments :-)
@parvathi
Gee, thanks.. I am beaming now... :) but it's also nice to see so many people say it's a happy start to their year...
Ok first time me commenting.. usually dunt comment, but then cudnt stop myself.. u dint write bout rise of alonso and fall of schumi.. did it slip of ur mind or u aint into F1? And also u dint write bout expulsion of MLAs and da MMS scandals.. Well I was also plannin a similar post but now tht it might look unoriginal, might as well think of sthn different.. And a very Happy New Year.
Oops almost forgot.. Nice post ;)
Cheers.
hey vindy, awwsome blog!!!
fingers crossed for tomorrow.. lemme know how it goes..
:))
@theoptimistfromutopia
Thanks... and fon't you think the post was too long already??? :)
@suze
Thanks on both counts... will do!! :)) Hope I can become your junior!!!
extraordinary!!
hehehehe!!! Superabu!!
But I'm going with Squid on this.. What's ur new year resolution? Switch to a Pink shirt? :)
I am furious. You did not include the release of Chandramukhi. What do you have to say for yourself, young man?
Good one da!
and yeah Laloo's daughters are really pretty.Surprisingly, they have no ear hair!
how abt this--
amitabh bachan was hospitalised for abdominal pain.so avnish bajaj was arrested.
women all over tamilnadu protested against kushboo with broom.and avnish bajaj was immediately arrested.
Vinod - Awesome post dude! I ve been reading your blog for quite a while now but never commented.(too snotty, I guess!) But for this post, I had to. Perfect 10, I should say. Keep blogging and wishing you a wonderful New Year! :)
brilliant as usual!I've been following your blog for quite a long time(I'am who doesn't know of it's existence?) and is it okay that i linked to your blog?
Hamsini of www.livejournal.com/users/hamdamn ;)
ROFL ROFL!!!
This was by far the BEST 2005 review I have read anywhere on web - absolutely seriously the best!!! Your writing style and observations - maan gaye!
Too good, I wish we had new years every month and you could pen such ones every month!
Happy new year and please keep writing such gems!
Suyog
lol cooool post. been reading ur posts for a looonngg time now but commenting for the first time. but it has ntn to do wioth me being lazy :p
hilarious vinod.
i really liked the correlation to the crude oil prices..
you are on to something there..
:)
@anonymous
Thanks!
@Harish
Thanks, man... and no, not pink.. Orange is more likely.. ;)
@Manasi
Padips, you know me better than to think I'd make wisecracks about Chandramukhi, don't you.. and anyway, there was a Superstar reference in the post.. :)
@Ravi
No ear hair.. and you still think they're hot!!! What's wrong with you? :p
@sheks
Avnish Bajaj is old news da...
@boo
Thanks a ton.. and ya, do keep visiting and commenting.. wish you a happy new year too..
@hamsini
Thanks a ton Hamsini.. and absoltely no issues with the linking.. please go ahead.. and do keep reading... :)
@suyog
Hee hee.. thanks!!! It was quite a bit of work, so new year every two months would be painful!!! But ya, will try and keep writing!!! :)
@neha
Thanks.. do keep visiting and commenting... :)
@sundar narayanan
Hee hee.. thaks.. and ya, I'm always confused whenver people link other happenings to the rise and fall of oil prices.. so I thought let's link everything that happens to the rise and fall of oil prices!!! :)
I couldn't bear to see the comment count on 49, so here's #50!!! :)
hahahaahahahaa
too funny...2005 was one heck of a year...amazing post...
and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
LOL... cant stop laughing. but how come u haven't mentioned srikkant & fourth umpire?
nice post man.. i wish i had access to a computer at midnight new years eve. God only knows what I woulda typed in that state
Vinod,
You write fabulously...I'm a die hard fan. What I dont like though is that you sometimes treat some very sensitive issues with irreverence:
"It isn’t a good year for IIM-Lucknow graduates in the country as Manjunath Shanmugam, another alumnus of the institute, now an officer with the Indian Oil Corporation (IOC), is tragically murdered by hired thugs. They apparently mistook him for Gaurav."
That could have been avoided.
@Aditi
Thanks... yes, it was... and a happy new year to you as well..
@obsessed4life
thanks.. and decided to leave them out of this one post at least... :)
@akshay
Hahaha... would've made for some fascinating reading too!!! :)
@Dinesh
Thanks a ton.. do keep reading..
And about the sensitive issues... Point taken. Will try not to do it in the future.
However, I've also made fun of other deaths in the year and also Katrina.. How come you didn't point those out?
ROTFL.. its the most hilarious thing i have read in a long time. u should make a stand up comedy series.. seriously!
first time here... but not the last.. my stomach aches from the way I've been laughing for the last ten min... loved the Muralitharan thing... keep writing... and happy new year..
- rajeev
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
*Kaushik Viswanath passed away today from excessive laughing*
Koze
how were ur CAT results??
@anonymous
Thanks a lot.. :)
@Rajeev
Thanks and do keep visiting.. happy new year to you too.. :)
@kaushik
Crude Oil prices rise sharply again following the economic effects of Kaushik Vishwanath's excessive laughter. :)
@Preetika
Oh, don't ask.. I got only a solitary call - from IIM-K.. very disappointed.. thought I'd done much much better...
It was totally awesome.i have actually been calling people and asking them to visit your blog.keep posting
LMAO!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR VinD!!!
This one was absolutely fantastic!!
Piece of Art!
LOL!!!
@sp
Thanks a ton!!! And please continue the good work!!! :)
@Pr!tz
Thanks a lot and a very very happy new year to you as well!!
Dude, absolutely fantastic writing!! Just when I thought you were you were losing your touch. Not a single word out of place in the entire post and excellent work on the recurring themes like IIPM and oil prices. This is the only year end review anyone needs to read:). Looking forward to more of the good stuff from you in 2006.
Lol...extremely hilarious!!esp the mouse brained president part!!:)
Hi Vinod..this is Vijay from MBT... Awesome.. Hilarious.. I'm laughing sitting in my cubicle in my office.. My PM gav a bewildered look at me.. Gr8 work yaar.. I'm telling my colleagues abt this blog.. Continue..
Amazing...
I promise a fresh audience of 20 odd people..
I am going to market this like hell.
@Meera
Thanks a ton!! :)
@Preethi
Thanks.. and yeah, everyone loves Dubya!!! :)
@vijay
thanks da.. and do tell!!! :) More visitors.. yay!!
@Arvind Iyer
Thanks a million.. and even more visitors?? Double Yay!! :)
LOL!! Me just wrote abt this one too :)
and how cud u make fun of HP6 and get away with it in this crazy fanatic world?! :D
Happy new yr machi :)
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
as usual sooper. came to know abt ur new post thru my gmail web clip, where i added ur blog's RSS feed...
the above post was by me, balaji
Hey man..you're a stud..crude oil prices was the most amazing part..
WHEW!!!
THIS WAS HILARIOUS!!! SOme penchant u have man!! Amazing!!! Can't wait for this year to end now!! ;-)
Came over from Arvind iyer's blog...
ROFL!!
Loved it absolutely. Perhaps, the best post I read all 2005. The crude oil angle was superb. By some weird coincidence I've been saying the same things about the Royals.
That was greatttt.. Keep writing Vinod.
jEDI
@Praveen
Sooper, will read yours shortly.. and Actually, i liked HP6!!! :)
@jughead
Thanks a lot, Balaji!!
@karthik
Thanks man!! I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but 'stud' is how I address almost everyone I know!!! :)
@Sudharshan
Thanks man!!! Do keep coming back!! :)
@jedi
Thanks a ton!!! But I repeat, this post was written in 2006!!! :)
hey..dnt worry about it.. you'll do just great with whatever it is that you do end up doing..!!
thats life... you lose some, you win some..
makes me think and makes me laugh..i only hope it would made me think more positively about u than i do..carry on blogging..don't know yaa..but may be a bit more honest attempt!
hi vinodh!! this is preethi deepa's friend.........
i happened to read few of ur blog entries.....and they were too good!!
this one was really excellent.......
and i wud suggest u better participate in any of the laughter challenge game shows and all bone heads wud vote for u for sure.......coz wat better job do they have???(dude i also raed ur blog on such game shows ..cool man)
I appreciate ur sarcastic humour.....
good work keep it up man!!!
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
great post man. but i loved ur 2004 report even more !!!
@preetika
Thanks a ton.. ya, life's like that I guess... will take it as it comes.. :)
@anonymous
A bit more honest attempt??? Do you mean in terms of the news pieces??
@Preethi
Thanks... and do keep visiting!!! :)
@anonymous
Lol... maybe 2004 was the crappier year after all!!! :)
dude, you rock!
i never thought south indians could be intentionally that funny !!! he he :)
@Indian Bachelor
I don't know whether to take offense or to say thanks. :)
awesome!
genius post dude!
@Prashanth and Deppe
Thanks guys!!
careful with ur post abt the 2k5 review da..
peeps might just decide to burn all those infy-brand computers in front of infy.
careful with ur post abt the 2k5 review da..
peeps might just decide to burn all those infy-brand computers in front of infy.
..calls kardik
Great post daa...i was laughing..anyways i feel u could have avoided manju's name..thats sensitive issue..humour was not required by linking with gaurav..i am playing devil's advocate..so no hard feelings.. the rest of the post was simply brilliant..
Hilarious.
Vinod,
That was an amazing post!!
Loved it!! :)
Keep it up!!!
@kardik
Oh no!!! :(
@Harry
Thanks man, and ya.. maybe I needn't have made fun of that...
@vinodh
Thanks!!
@nm
Thanks a ton and will try!!!
And this is coment #100!!! Yay!!!
hey d00d..visiting after long time..:) looks like some things never change...
French women,Wodehouse writings,Falstaff's cynicism and Vinod's humor! :p
Well dont ask me to pick the fav among the aforementioned :P:P
So CAt ko kya hua...?
Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat post man. You are absolutely brilliant. Hats off to ur comic timing and sense (if there is any :) ) of Humor. Why dont u try giving performances in shows such as Great Indian Laughter Challenge?
@girish
Hi da!! And thanks... :) About CAT.. well, I got 99.85 overall but sucky score in quant.. so ended up with a call only from K.. not sure what I want to do now.. How bout you?
@anonymous
Thanks!! :)
"peeps might just decide to burn all those infy-brand computers in front of infy."
infy-brand computers??!?!??!?!
i guess its a comforting feeling that people still exist in the world who are not engineers!
:) hilarious man! crude oil and male parts!
@anonymous
Lol... SOOO glad about that!!! :)
@silentkiller
Thanks dude!! Nothing but the truth..
long time reader,first time commentor...your blog's cracked me up several,several times:)
Happy '06,
May the force be with you
dude, this blog tricks thing that you have installed on your blog always has some kind of search for "mallu girls" i am wondering whats the deal with mallu girls??!?!??! kindly explain! also why are so many ppl interested in mallu girls?!?! any famous mallu girl? i dont know why i am saying mallu girl again and again!
off to google!
@jinxed..
Thanks a ton.. hope you continue to be come a long-time commentor as well.. rocking '06 to you too..
@Indianbachelor
hahaha... I'd noticed it too... in fact, I was planning to write a whole post on that!! :)
hey u r doin a lot gud to the mankind
gr8 posts man
way to go
@nikhilesh
Thanks man, but good to mankind???
don read ne sarcasm in tat, laughter is gud to the mankind u c
"Abhijeet Sawant edges out Amit Sana to become the first ever Indian Idio… sorry, Idol. When asked for the secret behind his incredible success, he smiles the trademark smile that made him the darling of millions of bone-headed sms voters and sheepishly admits that he had slept with Aman Varma.
The bone-headed sms voters, who are deeply hurt by this revelation, immediately start voting feverishly for runner-up Amit Sana without realizing that the contest was already over."
i'm rolling on the floor! can't agree more with you
Simply super I say!! ROTFL.
this is the funniest thing i have read by far. damn cool.
hi dude ...... i've seen you in many quiz programs
good one... nice reading it...
Bahut Majedaar Tha !!
Hey man - that was good stuff. Lots of tracking happening. Did u manage to catch the last of Paris Hilton's Sex tapes just before your finished this? May want to mention that .. now that her nudity is nuthing but banal.
Sam
http://www.sam-a.blogspot.com/
Hey, nice funny post about the year. where are you these days ? Infy or MBA ?
@nikhilesh
Ok dude, thanks!! :)
@brood mode
Lol.. I think some of them are still voting... :)
@jax & shruti &priya
Thanks!!
@anonymous
Oh, ya I'm a regular quizzer..
@vikram vasu
Thanks, man.. I'm still in Infy only.. Where are you though? Long time no see..
@Sam
Hee hee.. where did that come in suddenly??
Awesome!
LOL... itz a hilarious post.. I am still laughing and itz really well-written... u do hav a flair.. am gonna keep a look out for ur posts frm now on.....
Nice roundup of the year. To be honest, I haven't been keeping up with the events in India for a while now, so I was caught short on a few jokes. I actually checked the age of consent after reading the passage about it being reduced to 15yrs!
i know i'm late in reading this.. but really funny stuff man!
interesting way of presenting the news.. keep writing
kuldip
http://kulxp.blogspot.com
This has GOT to be THE BEST yearly roundup ever!
Am gonna link it on my blog. Awesome stuff. :D
http://pleiades.blurty.com
Sarika
A friend sent me a link to this post; other than a few witty paras, most of them are slip shod humor. Kudos for the witty ones though! :-)
Hey Mate..
That was really funny. Would read some of your earlier posts too.
Keep your sense of humour intact.
Keep Blogging!!!
HP
This was so funny!!! Really hilarious compilation. Luved it :))
Absooolutely amazing, way too hilarious!!! m at splits end laughing! made my day.
just looooooooooved ur blog!
vinod: the blog idol? :))
AWESOME! ..
esp the way you brought in crude oil every month..
dude, i almost died laughing!
if u r wondering about the delayed comment, it's because i have this bookmarked, and re-read it once in a while. Thought would let you know, you rock!
ATTN: THE PRESIDENT/CEO
RE: OFFER FOR PARTNERSHIP BUSINESS PROJECT
I HAVE THE DESIRE TO ESTABLISH A GOOD BUSINESS PROJECT AND I HAVE MADE AVAILABLE THE SUM $25.MILLION (USD), WHICH IS CURRENTLY DEPOSITED WITH A FINANCE INSTITUTE IN DUBAI(UAE) FOR THE PROJECT.
I NEED A REPUTABLE BUSINESS MAN WITH WEALTH OF BUSINESS EXPERIENCE, TO NARRATE IN DETAILS THE KIND OF PROJECT THAT WOULD BE LUCRATIVE TO INVEST ON SO THAT WE CAN DELIBERATE AND ARRANGE TOWARDS IT FOR THE PROJECT TO COMMENCE.
MENTION AREAS OF YOUR SPECIALIZATION YOU KNOW THAT IF INVEST ON WILL GENERATE GOOD PROFIT.
THANKS AND WOULD BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
YOURS TRULY
Gen.MOHAMMED PIONEER(RTD)
good site
That was God-level
BTW, Your blog rocks! :-)
what can I say that someone already hasn't. your a riot!
amazing follow up of month to month crude oil :)
you are god. nuff said
^^ nice blog!! ^@^
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